Last night at the MTV bash, I came across a chocolate mountain that had a warm chocolate fountain running down every side of it. Surrounding it was every sweet thing you can imagine: Turkish delites and fudge and bite-sized puff cream pastries and strawberries and marshmallows and kiwi and litchi. And so yes, I set out to conquer this mountain. And I did. I climbed my way to the very top and stayed there. Settled down there. Built a house for myself. A little getaway pad. And way up there beside the chocolate fountain I meditated for hours, with my mouth wide open. Good god what a thing of beauty this mountain is. I an honestly say that no other mountain in the world has given me as much pleasure. And believe me, I’ve seen a few impressive ones in my day: Masada, Table Mountain, The Alps. Needless to say I had to go running this morning with Adonis to pay for my reckless behaviour. But this is where it gets ugly. i woke up at 11.45, pulled on running shorts and shoes and had Wife drop me at Adonis who was waiting at the track at 12. And so we started to run. But half way around the park, the 5 pounds of belgium chocolate decided it was time to be flushed from the body. So for half a kilometre I ran “holding it in” with really embarressing flashes of me beside the road unable to move with my running shorts full of….Horrible. And then came the cramps. Jesus what a sloppy, sweaty, bloated mess I make on the running field. Poor Adonis. Anyway, I convinced Adonis I needed to run past a toilet. Fortunately we found one near the duck pond, and thanks to the Royal Park keepers it was clean and ready to go. Jesus. Anyhow, it is now only 5 hours before I must begin my 24 hour fast. The fast where I atone for my sins. Couldn’t have come at a better time. oh and last night at the MTV bash, the DJ played a song by MIKA called GRACE KELLY. It sounded like Twisted Sister or Queen. A rather fun, uplifting anthem to come out of the closet to, I must say.
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