Ah, Cancun, magical land of hopes and dreams and orgies.
Jonna and Aiiya consumate their previously non-present attraction in a threesome with creeper Pat, who gets Jonna to break up with her boyfriend Matt for him despite clearly being gayer than a Backstreet Boy. Jasmine ups her pathetic levels (previously thought impossible, but apparently not) by hooking up with Pat’s cousin out of newfound love? revenge.
Unsurprisingly, when they all see off Pat and Second Place at the airport, Jonna starts immediately regretting her fling. Interestingly, Aiiya does not, implying that her friends who visited might be right, and she might be gayyity gay gay.
First step: Get drunk. Second step: Find a desperate girl.
As Real World: Cancun reaches its conclusion, MTV gets desperate for material and actually shows like five minutes of Bronne’s retarded self-made zombie movie. Really MTV? Really?
MTV realized the depths to which they had sunk (although they didn’t remove that material), so they decided to send Bronne and Derek (forget about him? Me too) with CJ to his NFL audition. But tragedy strikes! CJ and Derek attack a guy for messing with Derek, and the guy calls the cops. CJ begs the question by worrying that his NFL career will be ruined.
Back at the house, Emilee (or whatever the stupid yooneek spelling of Emily is for her) is extremely angry because she’s been living in squalor at the deluxe ME hotel while Bronne & co. got to spend the night in a Vegas hotel. To get back at Bronne, because it is clearly his fault, she goes through his bag, pulls out a couple magazines, and “tap dances” on (aka rips up) one. Maturity, thy name is Eymeelii.
Oh, and there's a new fake roommate (the only truly funny part of the episode). This may or may not be her.
Understandably frustrated by the girl’s inability to not destroy other people’s property, Bronne yells at Aiiya and Oemilei, who fake laugh and insist for at least ten minutes that they don’t care at all. No, seriously. They don’t care AT ALL. AT ALL!
I had previously thought that Eeemilyyy wasn’t every shown because she was boring. Now I’m starting to think differently – I think she was just so crazy that the cameramen were afraid to film her. Our intrepid heroine also decides that she hates Jonna for getting attention from guys, so she continually complains about Jonna and then complains about Jonna not hanging out with them. Logic is not our heroine’s strong suit.
The episode ends with a cliffhanger: Will Bronne repent calling Aiiya Hitler? Will Jonna change her ways enough to get the other girls to like her? Will Jasmine stop being the most misguided person in the house? And could that mysterious stranger coming back be… *gasp*… Joey?!
NV/R,
Margo
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